Tips for Cisgender Allies
  • Don’t out trans friends to other people without their permission.
  • Know your local resources (CV Pride, etc).
  • Google first! Your trans friend isn’t your personal encyclopedia.
  • Ask your friend which pronouns they prefer (he/she/they), then tell them which you prefer.
  • Ask if you can ask questions, and be aware of your surroundings before initiating the conversation.
  • Avoid asking questions about genitalia or any questions you would feel uncomfortable answering if the tables were turned.
  • Find out with whom you can use your friend’s preferred name and pronouns. It can be very dangerous for trans people to be out to the wrong people.
  • Don’t use oppressive language, and call others out when they do.
  • Avoid using the following language:
    • “What are you really?”
    • “What’s your real name?”
    • “So, you’re an ‘it?’”
  • Always refer to the sex one was “assigned at birth,” as opposed to one’s “real sex.”

Adapted from We Are Family Charleston with permission.